The prodigal mother returneth

So, I'm back in Sydney now.  Nothing to show in terms of Stampin' Up pretties.  But the retirement list is now available - email me if you would like a copy.  A new holiday catalogue will be available shortly, and a new annual catalogue starts on 1 September.  So please contact me if you'd like details.  Also available for workshops, classes and anything else at the moment.  Full-time Mum-hood has been a bit of a shock to the system after 5 months off.  Check out my Stampin' Up! Demonstrator site for regular open days.

Plus 2 weeks

So I'm now two weeks over my contract end date.  I've managed to do something, consciously or unconsciously, which will very likely result in my not being invited back again.  Makes decisions easy, I suppose.  Made my bed and now I must lie in it.

Returning to Sydney very soon now, so will be available once again for P&C-ing, general mothering duties, stamping and crafting.  If nothing else, there is an enormous backlog of scrapbooking which needs doing.  Might dust off the photo printer and see if I can get it working properly again, go through my stash and look at culling, consolidating and responsibly repurposing.

Set some more goals, will attempt to obtain a tax return in order to do some further training or possibly a slightly longer course.  Would very much like to catch up with crafting buddies...  Will arrange a schedule, methinks.

Willingness to change

I had an experience this weekend which has caused me to reflect. My struggle with depression began when I was a little girl. I remember being mostly sad, burying myself in books to escape and spending hours and hours reading every night, not sleeping enough. Parent's separation, access visits, divorce, teen angst, my father's suicide, struggling with year 12, trying to please everyone else, I probably could have done with some counseling. It is not really surprising that when having kids without much extended family support, the walls crumbled.

In studying psychology, the biggest lesson one must learn while dealing with other people is a recognition that no one can help someone unwilling to help themselves. When rebuilding resilience after ceasing medication, I think it is important to remember that not everyone is willing to help themselves.

When our mental resilience is fragile, removing ourselves from conflict in order to build extra structures to support our resilience is a retreat of self care and strength. There is little virtue in denying recognition of the choices made regarding our mental health. Ultimately, everything is a choice, including the choice to help ourselves. And to help ourselves we must choose to surround ourselves with people who will help, not hinder, our progression through to mental stability.

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Cased card and News

So at our last StampInkPaper team meeting, I was making a bunch of birthday cards.  Kay, one of my sister team members showed me a card by Ruth Clarke and mentioned a friend would love this for her birthday.  I had loads of bits of the Spice Cake paper chopped up so I went to work.  Tea-bag fold on 8 circles which are then placed together to form a flower.  Brad in the middle and voilà!

Supplies are Spice Cake DSP, Antique brad, Bring On the Cake stamp set, Early Espresso card body, Pool Party layer, Very Vanilla layer.  Coloured "Birthday" with Pool Party marker and stamped sentiment in Early Espresso ink.

News is that I've accepted a position with the ACT Public Service in Canberra until the end of June.  I'll be travelling down on Sundays and returning home on Fridays.  Will be busy, but worth it for both mental and financial health.  Also hoping it will lead to other opportunities at higher levels in the future and allow the family to move in July.  But nothing is ever set in stone, so we'll see how it goes.  At the least it will give me very recent experience in work I very much enjoy (stuff I do voluntarily - being paid to do it is a bonus).

And last but not least, its my littlest man's birthday today.  Toby is 7 today!  I'd been in hospital for a few days with ruptured membranes (same thing happened with Ryan) and was anxiously awaiting induction for Toby.  This is an old scrapbook layout I did quite some time ago about how strong (read STUBBORN) he was at 2 weeks old.  Remember, this is one week before his due date: he was 3 and a half weeks early!  He was such a fighter from the very beginning, but I suppose that's how you might be against the world when you're evacuated from your nice warm place a bit early.

Sadly...

... I received a letter today saying "your application was unsuccessful." No Canberra job to go to. Will have to apply for more. Very deflated.

A special card

So I was recently commissioned to create a card for a very special birthday - a 100th. I was time poor but had been given the brief that Hilda is very active in the Welsh Society and so the colours of Wales (Red, White and Blue) or the Welsh flower, a Daffodil should be incorporated somehow. I immediately thought of the "Just Believe" set. I then racked my brains trying to make something super-special - nothing was springing to mind and time was marching on! Finally, I did the rounds of the blogs I read regularly and have tagged in my blog Reader. Inspiration came from Teneale Williams, a most talented and frequently published card-maker. I can't think of anyone who makes cards more special and her attention to detail is meticulous. As you can see, I've copied Teneale's structure within the limits of my available resources. I did use different colours and then popped the flowers with dimensionals. I also stamped an inside very similar to Teneale's, but didn't take a good enough picture of it to show. So thanks very much to Teneale for the inspiration in creating this very special 100th birthday card. I don't imagine I'll have the opportunity to make any more very soon!


And for those wondering, it will be six weeks since my interview in Canberra next Tuesday. I'm seriously hoping for some kind of feedback by then, but still have not heard anything at all to date. The website states:

As a Department, we are well aware that the selection process should be efficient and prompt – to this effect, we are encouraging and supporting our Divisions to complete their recruitment processes within a six-week timeframe. Regrettably, this is not always possible with every position vacancy, but it is a firm goal of the Department.

Understandably, I'm no longer holding my breath. :) But keep watching - you'll know when I know, lovely readers!

Interview excitement

Big news! I had an interview for a position at the Department of Innovation, Industry, Science and Research in Canberra. Keeping everything crossed as the job is JUST my cup of tea! I'm so excited because the interview went really well, I thought. I just sent a thank you email off to the panel members and hope that I hear from them with some positive news in the next week or so. If its not so positive news, I'll feel quite happy to ask for constructive feedback on the interview. I hope to receive some "tea"riffic news!

un-post

Well, my dear younger boy has cared and shared his dreaded lurgy with me despite assuring me it wasn't him. I'm feeling a bit poorly, so please excuse the lack of quilting and stamping progress happening in this corner of cyberspace. Hoping to knock this on its head over the weekend as there's a busy week coming up including my kids' school P&C AGM. And yes, I'll be putting my hand up for a bunch of jobs once more... Its all part and parcel of being a Primary Parent, really!

Quilt progress

So here's the progress on my quilt. Going to be a bit smaller than I thought - but that's okay. The white border is going to have more pink ribbon sewn on top - haven't quite got there yet. I'm quite happy with it despite all the little mistakes in it - No one will know when its all put together!

Not exactly sure how I'll quilt it - might need to see if I can beg/borrow a hand quilting hoop from someone so I can give that a go. I'm sure my stitching will need work! Anyway, its progressing.

Been a bit topsy-turvy in the emotion department - very concerned about Grumpy-George's heart failure (this is the diagnosis finally). I'm worrying more because Mum is worried, but it also occurred to me yesterday that I just don't want him to die just yet. He's been my step-dad/Dad for 27 years now. I only had 16 with my biological Dad with about 4 years estrangement. Anyway, I love him and don't want him going and dying any time soon - he's 67 and gets a bit stroppy when people try to tell him what to do - including doctors regardless of his best interests at heart. So excuse any teary-ness observed - its sometimes hard for a leopard to change his shorts.

A little bit of history

Ryan turned 9 today. In fact, just a few minutes ago he turned 9. Here is a picture of him just moments after he was born. I'd been having contractions for most of the day and was put on a drip to augment the labour. He was born at 36weeks and 6 days. I remember saying to my Mum that I hadn't got my step-dad, George, a birthday present. She said she didn't think he'd mind; Ryan was a pretty good present.
Here he is just a few minutes ago being a silly-billy.
And here he is blowing out his 3+6(=9) candles.
His birth started a long and winding road which included the inception of my blogging as an "Optimist with PND". Much work has been done to reach this point including large amounts of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), psychiatric help, DoCS early intervention, an invaluable family stay at Coral Tree Family Service, medication, creating a post-natal depression support group, a hospital admission for PND right through to beginning to wean myself off medication. Ryan, I'm so glad you are a part of my life. Its been a hard road for me to grow into motherhood and you have helped me learn patience, understanding, resilience and most of all the deep connection between a mother and son. I love you, darling boy!

Failing eyesight...

So its started... I've now procured reading glasses. Hoping they don't make me look too much like my Mum, and REALLY hoping I don't look like my brother!

Of course, Caitlyn needed to be in on the whole photo thing. After I stopped her from doing rabbit ears behind me, it was not too bad. She's poised in mid kiss in this one.
So, what do you think? More distinguished?? ;)

After Toby's first week

Toby: sound asleep after his first school week... Plum tuckered out.

Toby's First Day

YAY! I'm doing the happy dance today cos Toby started school today!! Here he is near his bag hook. His hat is hanging in the background. My baby!! So ready to learn reading and writing and everything! <- sure sign of an insane mind all these exclamation marks!

To the Zoo!

We went to the Zoo last Wednesday! We walked to Hornsby station, rode the ferry across to Taronga. Here's the kids on the ferry:
The main reason for our visit was to go and see Luk Chai, the new baby. Here he is with his Mum Thong Dee. It was so great to see Toby's face - he LOVES elephants!
And a super special treat was seeing this platypus at play. We stayed for ages watching it swim around - for such a shy creature, it was almost gregarious! And, of course, Caitlyn loved the long-neck turtle in here with the platypus.

He got it!

Hubby got the job! Next week he'll start at Fox Sports in IT. And he'll be catching the train in and walking over to the office!! Good for his self-esteem to get the job and good for his fitness to be doing the walking!!!

Soooooo happy!

Thoughts and Prayers

But not the stamp set!! I'm asking for some special thoughts and prayers for hubby's second interview for a permanent job next week. Would make the best Christmas gift for our little family!

Caitlyn's birthday

At the specific request of the birthday girl, we made her a rather large chocolate cake which ended up rising quite a lot in the middle. Since she wanted a rainbow in smarties, it turned out quite well. Everyone enjoyed it!

Here's the card I made for Caitlyn's birthday. She loves purple and she liked the flower-pot card I made for Alana's cyberstamp so the decision was quite easy! The photo is quite speckled with shadows because my favourite picture window is covered in dust streaks from the dust storms we've had in Sydney this week - so apologies!

Wow! Followers!

Wow! I just noticed I've got Followers! WOOHOO!

I just gotta post a link back to Tessa's amazing interpretation of my snowflake/ornament card using Tree Trimmings. She's a clever chick-a-dee! And a constant source of inspiration for me!

Okay, best dash away - its Darren's birthday today - 09/09/09. A bit auspicious! Reads the same in either date format too! ;) So, Happy Birthday my love! Its going to be a lovely day!

Project "just chuck it"

I don't have cards to show just now; I wanted to share that I've been working slowly at getting a few things in order. Darren lost his job in April and is still going to interviews trying to find somewhere he won't "be bored". *sigh* That's employer speak for "we don't really want you". Anyway, I've been rather glum about it all and been a particularly sad person to be around until I started going out to Westmead Children's Hospital as a volunteer with Play Therapy. Fellow Inkling Fiona and I travelled out two weeks in a row and sorted out our parking, volunteer badges, etc, as well as sat and created with some children having chemotherapy in both outpatients and the Oncology ward. After all my crappy behaviour for the last few months, I'm finally snapping out of it. I don't have anything to be gloomy about. I don't need to be an Eeyore. These kids and their families are going through so much more.

So I'm grateful that Darren is around so much. I've started running "Fun Friday" every week at my place (in an effort to get the housework going!!) and went and did some planned spending at Ikea buying some much needed storage, drawers for Ryan and desks for Ryan and Caitlyn. We have also started "chucking" with a couple of loads to the dump, scoping out neighbours recycling bins every second week to get rid of our overflow (we always overflow our recycling bin!), and a bit of tree surgery to get the yard starting to look a bit more friendly. Little steps and I'm getting there slowly - focussing on the accomplishments not the bunch of stuff left to do.

Okay, Universe, I'm now ready for Darren to get a job! Please? Pretty please? Wouldn't mind one myself - we'll see how that goes...

"And the walls came tumbling down"

At least we have a roof over our heads and will manage for a while. But the rug has been pulled and we're swept off our feet. Hubby lost his job today - another victim of the "technical" recession. Our home is feeling very very sad today.