Sunday, February 13, 2005

Waiting and remembering

Well, its just 4 weeks to go until the official due date, but I'm hoping its more like 2. I can't bear the waiting and my braxton hicks are really painful. I'm trying to be mentally prepared for this birth, imagining what it will be like, imagining holding Toby for the first time. I was in tears with my husband this morning saying "I wish I'd known with Ryan, that I'd insisted on going with him." I was just so tired after he was born, but I wish I'd known how much it would affect me not being with him. I still love him differently to Caitlyn -- I missed out on that initial "falling in love" with him. It took time for love to grow. I so hope its different with Toby, that I'll get to fall in love with him. I don't expect it will make any difference as far as PND is concerned; if it happens it happens.

I'm overwhelmed by the number of volunteers I've had calls from for starting up my PND self-help support group. 30 so far and still going. And I've had a range of professionals from all kinds of areas and locations! Its so fantastic! I think I'll have to expand the initial mission statement before we even start the group! I so hope POSI flies...

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