Sunday, March 28, 2004

Week ending March 28

Monday
Frantic day, but reasonable in terms of mood. Spent the whole day trying to catch up with myself. Ryan to pre-school at 9:15, Caitlyn to FDC at 9:30. Then I drove into work at Kensington and met up with the new me and chatted for a while. Went up to see a few people at work and promised to come back with pictures of the kids. Don't want to go back to work now. Upheaval should be all done by the time I'm due to go back, but I'm not at all sure I like the business focus. Met friends for lunch and they gently told me they didn't want me doing any more with the website but would pay me. So I showed them the bill. Adjusted it at home and emailed it all off. Frantic day, but lots done and felt good.
Day-rating: 4

Tuesday
Weary and my head hurts. Kids started to drive me batty with the being inside thing. Caitlyn a misery guts -- teeth probably. Found out she doesn't need an 18 month vaccination. Love her so much. She's exactly 18 months old today and is such a girlie-girl. Ended up letting her cry off to sleep today because I was exhausted.

Did scrapbooking class tonight and it was quite good. Like the lady that ran it and might aim to go to a few more of her classes.
Day-rating: 3

Wednesday
Felt a bit hurried and harrassed today probably because I'd busted a gut to get my scrapbook page done, ready for the group. Group was okay. Had to do this thing of "where I am now" and "where I want to be" and "what's stopping me". Kept thinking about it and am not sure if there's much difference between where I am now and where I want to be.

Kids were a bit ratty at the park, but it was a nice day out.
Day-rating: 3

Thursday
Don't remember what happened today.
Day-rating: 3

Friday
Got Ryan off to Pre-School okay. Caitlyn was a bit ratty because she needed sleep. Walked up to Playgroup with a friend. Felt good after the walk and was easier with someone to talk to other than the kids.
Day-rating: 3

Saturday
Went and bought pots today. Was good to get them finally. Got my motorbike helmet too. Can't wait to go on the bike.
Day-rating: 3

Sunday
Went and spent money at Bunnings on plants, potting mix and various and sundry other bits and pieces.
Day-rating: 3


Monday, March 22, 2004

Week ending March 22

Monday
Day was great. Bit flustered in the morning getting the kids to two different places, but it was okay. Darren took me to Doyle's at the Fish Market and we had a lovely seafood lunch. And our weekend next weekend is totally booked up with going to Corey's birthday and Spanky's and Mel's house-warming. Felt very woozey and odd in the afternoon, probably to do with the wine!
Day-rating: 4

Tuesday
Called Darren at about 4 and realised it was just because I hadn't spoken to another adult at all today. Had a chat for a bit when he rang me back.

Started out okay, but was a harpy with the kids just before Darren got home and just after. Looked at the calendar and its PMT week so no wonder. At least this time I've recognised it.
Day-rating: 3

Wednesday
Group was okay today. I felt really strongly today that I didn't want to drag myself down and mention bad bits of the week, I wanted to say the good stuff that happened. Like the moments yesterday when I took photos of the kids outside and let Caitlyn run around in little-girl pants. I think I'm going to get her lots more of those little terry-toweling pants from Coles -- they are so sweet and sensible and I can't seem to find anything like them elsewhere. They had such a good time I think I'll just add it into the routine that we spend an hour outside playing before dinnertime. And boy did they wolf down dinner afterwards! No arguments. Although, I did make home-made fetticini which they love!

Cried all the way home from the PND group about the topic of the day -- messages in our head. Mine were all "stupid, dumb" and I felt like I hadn't grown up in a wonderful place. I can remember spending so much time reading -- to the point where I would get yelled at to turn off my lamp at night and then I'd lie and wait until Dad had gone to bed and it was "safe" and then turn it back on again and read some more. I can very vaguely remember being tired at school all the time. I had no clock of my own so I never knew how late I read til. I just remember wanting to be in the Little Round House, or the Magic Faraway Tree, or one of the Famous Five, or with Aslan. I don't remember much of anything else. I never remembered being told I was capable. I think my school reports always came back "quiet, careful" etc. I have a pile of "citizenship" awards in my box of stuff in the garage from primary school. I remember spending time on maths problems and how good it felt to get the answers right. Something achievable and concrete to show I could DO something successfully. Far too much introspection today. I cried all the way home in the car and spent some time at the bottom of the driveway crying more.

Kids wanted to play when we got home so I pulled the picnic rug out of the car and put it out on the grass Darren mowed on Monday. They sat and ate with me on the rug and then had a quick play on the bikes. Perhaps I'll take the bikes to the playground today.
Day-rating: 3

Thursday
Don't really remember if anything happened today.
Day-rating: 3

Friday
Pre-school for Ryan and Caitlyn with me to Playgroup. Talked to pre-school teacher who suggested getting Ryan off to the speech pathologist.
Day-rating: 3

Saturday
A friend's birthday party. Had a bit of an explosion because I was left alone with the kids; Darren went to put money in the parking meter and then did a cursory glance about the place to see where I was and didn't look any further. Pissed me off really badly and I blew up at him in front of everyone. Other than that the day was okay. Kids didn't eat anything they should have, though.
Day-rating: 3

Sunday
Friend's house-warming late afternoon. I had a big sleep in the morning which was excellent. Kids apparently went off to sleep reasonably early so Darren got a nice break through the day too. MacDonald's on the way home was a waste of time, neither of them ate much. Kids were ratty by the time we got home and Darren and I looked at each other at 11 pm and said "Did we just have a weekend, cos it didn't feel like it?!"
Day-rating: 3

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Week ending March 14

Monday
Darren home today, but we're all sick. Ryan's first day at pre-school.
Day-rating: 3

Tuesday
Darren home again and still sick. With the kids as well, we're all not doing so good.
Day-rating: 2

Wednesday
Not too bad a day. PND group was okay -- I was drugged up on cold-n-flu stuff so my head was foggy. We did a family tree to give us a starting point for looking at patterns in our behaviour/beliefs. Also had mother's group.
Day-rating: 3

Thursday
My birthday. At least Darren remembered a card from him, even if he didn't do one from the kids. Felt kinda down. But only because I didn't manage to do a cake or anything special.
Day-rating: 3

Friday
Playgroup was good and had a big talk with playgroup leader about Ryan and ADD & ADHD and I think I'll move him to another pre-school if he gets offered a place next year. Kindy is okay, but I'm not sure the level of stimulation will be there...
Day-rating: 3

Saturday
Darren worked. Nanna came over and we went out when Darren got home and she bought me some scrapbooking and card-making stuff. Day was okay, but the kids drove me a little bit nuts.
Day-rating: 3

Sunday
Sorted through photos and put them in the scrapbooking folder I bought so I can start doing something with them next week. Looking forward to it! :)
Day-rating: 3

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Week ending March 7

Monday
Better day. Probably cos the kids were in care all day. Ryan's last day at FDC. Pre-School next week. He's so ready, I think! :) Its a good job he's not going to be home for another year! I don't know how I could handle it! Colleen mentioned some really good counting books for 3-4 year olds which I could get from the post-office. Have to go look for them. Basic maths -- adding and subtracting etc. I think Ryan will thrive on that kind of thing. Grandma-Lynne is going to send up his birthday presents -- an abacus and something alphabet-ish. Great stuff! I love how Mum actually puts thought into her gifts to Ryan. Suppose it helps she did some early-childhood education stuff herself.

Tiring day but a good day. Got the kids sorted reasonably easily in the evening by myself. Worked out okay. Probably feel differently by the end of the week.
Day-rating: 4

Tuesday
Tiring day, but felt very lost at the end after the kids were in bed. Need to knit again or something. Needed something to do...
Day-rating:

Wednesday
Should have been easier today, but put too much pressure on by making cake this morning as well as the mars-bar slice. Lost it a bit by the afternoon. Kids in bed by 2:40 and will go lie down now and read. Won't have much more time to do anything else because they'll need dinner. Thinking about toast or fish fingers for dinner tonight -- easy meal. PND group was difficult. Finally broached the subject of child abuse with the nurse and psychologist. Will call them about it.
Day-rating: 2.5

Thursday
Stayed up way too late icing Ryan's train cake. Looked awesome.
Day-rating: 3

Friday
Ryan & George's birthday.

Wanted to get through the day without yelling at Ryan and almost succeeded. Not quite... Anyway, he had a great day at playgroup and I think he enjoyed the cake.
Day-rating: 3

Saturday
Aunty and Papa came over in the morning. Managed to get the kids off to bed at a reasonable time in the afternoon and managed to have a lie down myself.
Day-rating: 3

Sunday
Not so good today. A bit over the whole working all week thing that Darren's been through and getting nasty with the kids. Tired out and starting to get sick, I think.
Day-rating: 2