Difficult emotions this week. First the elation of going for the ultrasound, the anticipation and trepidation of finding out what gender the baby is, and the excitement of seeing the little one wiggling on the screen. We went for one of those fancy 3D ultrasounds, but couldn't really see his face as he was snuggled up against the placenta.
Since the ultrasound, I've had mostly rough days: exploding at everyone, feeling helpless, feeling unmotivated to clean my house, feeling generally out of sorts. I think there's a good dose of resentment too. I've been feeling baby kick quite a bit more and the reality is sinking in. There's still a rather large chunk of hope that this won't happen. Some disbelief and thinking it just can't happen. Sometimes its surreal. Anyway, I hope this sorts itself out. I'm working hard on pulling myself up short and saying "get a grip; this is real". Its bloody hard though.