EEK!

Well, I've done it now... I've put in a design team application to 3 Angels Scrapping and gosh I hope my OTP projects fit the bill!

Here's one I did of a bowl which is just for scraps on my desk. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nervous about this! like my first craft stall - its scary to be putting little pieces of myself out there.

*stomp stomp stomp*
Okay, I've driven down to Bowral and back once again to swap older children and now I'm missing #1 as well!!! He got all teary when we left and I'm worried. I didn't get to cleaning #2's room and she's missing a doll that she and Grandma specifically bought clothes for (special because it has brown hair and brown eyes like #2).

And its 41 degrees here and we only have air con in the bedroom and I hate that I opened my big mouth and the owner got rid of the pool and I feel so guilty about #1 and #2's doll and I'm hot and I just hate being SWEATY!

And DH has invited some 'net buddies over for a BBQ tonight who I've never met and the house looks like a toy/clothes bomb went off.

Bleargh! Poo-bugger-poop-bum! Okay. Feel better now! :)

New look!

Well, I've finally done it! Customised the piccy on my blog. YAY!

Matching calendar

Well, in a fit of fury because I have had to do dinner and bedtime with all the kids all week and its driven me to distraction, I've made a matching calendar for the wall hanging.

Having lots of issues with dealing with the kids on my own from 11am on. I just feel trapped, alone and constantly annoyed with them. I know this is all me, I know I should be more patient. I know I have to learn to deal with this better... *sigh* I guess it will get easier as time goes on.

Off the page (OTP)

My new favourite scrapbook pass time is "off the page" or "beyond the page". I love scrapbook paper and I enjoy making things that aren't necessarily scrapbook pages. This is my latest which is a little bit of self care too:
Tucked in the plastic sleeves are two of Louise Hay's "I can do it" cards. They are positive affirmations and these two are ones I'm having LOTS of trouble with. Now every time I pass this spot in my dining-room (right near a high traffic area) I can easily read the affirmations, and enjoy the pretty little board pieces I've made to pop them in.

Auld Lang Syne

This time of the year is so hard for me. Dad died on 4 January 1989, the year I started Year 12. I was 16, almost 17 and its been more than half my life he's been gone. I think my grief has finally evolved into wistful sadness now. Wishing he was here to see his grandkids and enjoy life with them. I think the turning points for me grieving for him was giving Toby Alexander my Dad's name, my last episode of PND which landed me in hospital where I just let it all go as loud and long as I needed, and finding out about his father, Roman Mazanov, who was taught the Bekova Trio and chose the instruments each would play. Elvira Bekova is quoted in her biography as saying "Mazanov filled his classes with music, recorded and performed... Perhaps his greatest achievement was to instill in me the ambition to be a professional musician." I think finding out about this wonderful man who stood up for his beliefs though it cost him his home and first family gave me insight into some of my own father's disappointments that he was unable to know his father.

Much introspection over the last 12 months. I think my mind has healed quite a lot, but there's still a way to go.

My much loved hobby, scrapbooking, has produced many pages over the last month and quite a few gifts. Here's my latest of two of the three kids:


That's all I can manage now. I'll try and keep updating this a bit more regularly!