Scrappin' mojo!

Well, I've managed to scrap a couple of pages - so easy with beautiful products... Love this layout, love my bubby boy who isn't so bubby anymore and love my gorgeous hubby in the background with a grin from ear to ear.


Dredged up some old pictures and did them too. Find it hard to do my older photos because I didn't take very good pictures. Anyway, I didn't take these ones, so they "worked"!


Feeling a bit lacking in motivation to do things like clean at the moment. The house is a bit disgusting and I hate it but just can't find the enthusiasm or drive to do anything about it. Will have to tomorrow - I am rostered on for Canteen on Monday and so won't have the day to myself... *SIGH* Might have to drop Canteen this year if I'm expected at the Uniform shop more often. Oh the trials of the full-time Mum!!! LOL

Feelin' better

Well, feeling much chirpier after loads of TLC from darling hubby (and a pack of Love Potions Choc Mud Tim Tams!!).

Did some scrapping:


Madness today - got to get kids off to FDC and Preschool and School - but then I have the day to myself! Yay!

Found this on the wall by my computer this morning:


Its fine as long as it doesn't move and doesn't hide!!

crying

Well, I think its just spilling out - been a really emotional week. I've been offered two jobs and Ryan started school again and I've had to get back into the swing of getting three kids ready in the morning. Hope so... Haven't been sleeping well lately (sometimes I feel like I'm sleeping too much) and have been getting a bit anxious about whether I should be taking a larger dose of Zoloft... Probably just a little blip, not a bump. Just need a bit more sleep. Feeling a bit stressed about money right now too which doesn't help. Behind with a couple of things and feeling like I'm failing as a Mum again - wish I could be as good at the parenthood thing as I am with craft and computers and ... Wish it was a bit more like adding numbers, doing a proof, solving an equation... But it isn't.

EEK!

Well, I've done it now... I've put in a design team application to 3 Angels Scrapping and gosh I hope my OTP projects fit the bill!

Here's one I did of a bowl which is just for scraps on my desk. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nervous about this! like my first craft stall - its scary to be putting little pieces of myself out there.

*stomp stomp stomp*
Okay, I've driven down to Bowral and back once again to swap older children and now I'm missing #1 as well!!! He got all teary when we left and I'm worried. I didn't get to cleaning #2's room and she's missing a doll that she and Grandma specifically bought clothes for (special because it has brown hair and brown eyes like #2).

And its 41 degrees here and we only have air con in the bedroom and I hate that I opened my big mouth and the owner got rid of the pool and I feel so guilty about #1 and #2's doll and I'm hot and I just hate being SWEATY!

And DH has invited some 'net buddies over for a BBQ tonight who I've never met and the house looks like a toy/clothes bomb went off.

Bleargh! Poo-bugger-poop-bum! Okay. Feel better now! :)

New look!

Well, I've finally done it! Customised the piccy on my blog. YAY!

Matching calendar

Well, in a fit of fury because I have had to do dinner and bedtime with all the kids all week and its driven me to distraction, I've made a matching calendar for the wall hanging.

Having lots of issues with dealing with the kids on my own from 11am on. I just feel trapped, alone and constantly annoyed with them. I know this is all me, I know I should be more patient. I know I have to learn to deal with this better... *sigh* I guess it will get easier as time goes on.

Off the page (OTP)

My new favourite scrapbook pass time is "off the page" or "beyond the page". I love scrapbook paper and I enjoy making things that aren't necessarily scrapbook pages. This is my latest which is a little bit of self care too:
Tucked in the plastic sleeves are two of Louise Hay's "I can do it" cards. They are positive affirmations and these two are ones I'm having LOTS of trouble with. Now every time I pass this spot in my dining-room (right near a high traffic area) I can easily read the affirmations, and enjoy the pretty little board pieces I've made to pop them in.

Auld Lang Syne

This time of the year is so hard for me. Dad died on 4 January 1989, the year I started Year 12. I was 16, almost 17 and its been more than half my life he's been gone. I think my grief has finally evolved into wistful sadness now. Wishing he was here to see his grandkids and enjoy life with them. I think the turning points for me grieving for him was giving Toby Alexander my Dad's name, my last episode of PND which landed me in hospital where I just let it all go as loud and long as I needed, and finding out about his father, Roman Mazanov, who was taught the Bekova Trio and chose the instruments each would play. Elvira Bekova is quoted in her biography as saying "Mazanov filled his classes with music, recorded and performed... Perhaps his greatest achievement was to instill in me the ambition to be a professional musician." I think finding out about this wonderful man who stood up for his beliefs though it cost him his home and first family gave me insight into some of my own father's disappointments that he was unable to know his father.

Much introspection over the last 12 months. I think my mind has healed quite a lot, but there's still a way to go.

My much loved hobby, scrapbooking, has produced many pages over the last month and quite a few gifts. Here's my latest of two of the three kids:


That's all I can manage now. I'll try and keep updating this a bit more regularly!

Silly season

Its upon us. The silly season. And I've been managing to feel morose. Daz proved himself the best hubby in the world yesterday buying me -two- bottles of VB which I very restrain-edly only had one glass of. Just enough to relax and stop shouting at everyone. Grumpiness has set in like a bad smell at the moment and I'm really hoping it disappears soon!

Lots of scrapping taking place - lots of avoiding the kids by burying my nose in a project or three. So, feeling ambivalent about Christmas and spent some of yesterday weeping and wishing we were going to my Mum's. Trifle and her Christmas cake and mince pies and ... well, you get the idea. Oh, and extra people to share the excitement of the kids opening their gifts. Mum's like a little kid at Christmas.

Can't think of anything else. Trying really hard to not fall into a cycle of sadness about Dad's passing on 4 Jan. Just makes this time of the year that much more challenging. He's missing out on his grandkids which is the sadest thing of all.